I got offered weed again. There was a lot of ppl trying to egg me on. Ppl I just met too. Like really? Yeah, I’ve tried ecstasy but that’s pretty much it. I don’t need to be someone whose tried everything’
People always try to get me to try all these drugs and honestly I would. The friends who were with me when I got heavy into ecstasy could tell you that my tolerance for rolls were so bad I would need to blow like $120 a night to feel good. At one point I got pretty depressed over life situations that I asked around for crystal meth. Don’t worry, none of my friends would let their dealers sell me any. But point being that I was willing to go that far..
I guess after slowing cutting down and pretty much cutting ecstasy out of my life I realized I used the drugs to cope. It wasn’t who I was as a person.. That in itself helped me stay away from doing bigger badder drugs.
Now i would be lying of I told you I quit ecstasy. I’ve slipped up a lot. But I can say that the amount I consume in a month now is no where the amount I would consume in two days back when I was a badass bitch haha.
I feel it empowering to be able to say no even to friends. They laugh at me and that’s fine. I just realized for myself that it ain’t for me. The habit and lifestyle was never who I was. It was my way to get away, my escape. My temporary escape.
Kinda had a revelation the other night while pondering on what my mother told my sister. My mom told my sister that it she wanted to take a break and just relax at home that it was fine.
The situation with my younger sister is that she just got laid off at her first job. And she’s in a hole of what should her next move be.
I kinda told my sister to get back out there and find something she wanted to do as far as a job since she will be taking college online classes soon.
When my mom told her to take her time and find a job when she’s ready; i was kinda baffled at the fact she said those words… I had to really think as to why my mom would give that kinda advice. And it hit me head on.
My mom had me at a young age. When she was barely 15 in fact. She wasn’t able to enjoy her youth and enjoy what everyone else her age was doing. She had to get right into parenting and working. To provide for me as well as herself.
It dawned on me and continues to hit home. My mom really doesn’t want my sister to grow up too fast. To miss out on her youth. I get it now… I shouldn’t push the issue on my sister because I know she is a hard working individual. She will do when she’s ready.
I thought to myself; how is Asian persuasion and then I realized; I am Asian persuasion lmfaooooo